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SpongeBob SquarePants: Dumped - Alternate Episode" (By Peter Griffin of Quahog)
From now you and many other people may know, cartoons have been still existing nowadays directed to mostly children, and barely even adults. I know some adult sitcoms like King of the Hill, Family Guy, South Park, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, American Dad, Robot Chicken, and Futurama. These shows in particular would be cartoons that adults would enjoy, and even if I’m just an adult who does in fact enjoy those shows, I just want to tell you this story only once, and I expect you to remember it all the time. This is a very recent event I’ve ever been willing to share with someone, and you’re the closest person next to me. I am Daniel Adams, pleasure to meet you. No need to speak to me, I’ll be the one and only person doing the talking at the moment, and I will tell you this story once, and I expect you to remember it all the time. Right here, right now. I suppose that you won’t think that it isn’t that bad, but the event I’ve experienced wasn’t pretty. And to say, it’s related to the topic of SpongeBob SquarePants. You love SpongeBob, I love SpongeBob, everybody does, and I mean, who doesn’t love SpongeBob? As a matter of fact, SpongeBob himself is the primary and ultimate face of all cartoons being Danny Phantom, The Fairly OddParents, The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, Total Drama, Invader Zim, you name just about any of them you know when it comes to mind, both yours and mine. The cartoon itself was created by Stephen Hillenburg, and it was released in May 1st, 1999 where its pilot episode was just released. The intro was different, because here I will say this once more, it’s the pilot episode. But no, I won’t be going there, I’m going to go deeper. I’m going to talk about one of the episodes from Season 2, Dumped. It’s about where Gary stopped playing with SpongeBob, and dumped him for his owner’s best friend, Patrick. This is honestly a really sad episode, but it winds up having a happy ending. Unfortunately for me, I did not view the episode the same way, because I know for a fact that there’s an uglier alternative version of itself. Just allow me to sit right here, in this room where we are, as I tell you this quote unquote “lovely” story. My experience began only just a few days ago, when I went to a hotel to stay because the carpenters that work on my house were nearly finished with it. The floors were gone, yada, yada, yada, and there was just absolutely nothing to see. It all began in the middle of the night that I had to leave my house. I left the house, then I started my car, and I drove to the nearest inn I could possibly find. I went into town to find an inn I could stay at, but when I searched deeper into town, I found my eyes on the nicest looking hotel I’ve ever seen. I felt like I was in heaven just by looking at it. I parked the car, jumped out, and I walked inside. I found a nice looking, well-dressed man in a red suit and a black, orange striped tie standing on the other side from where I am, and what also remained on the desk was a silver bell. I greeted the man, and paid him a good amount of money, and got my room key. Room C1. When I looked to my right, I saw a dark, dimly lit hallway with flickering lights on the ceiling. The only thing I could do is just breathe as I walked down the hallway. When I arrived to my room and unlocked the door, I slowly opened it, followed by the sound of the door creaking, and what remained inside was a very damp, ratty, and dusty room, but the only things decent being the bed, the TV remote, the television, and what appears to be a perfectly clean DVD case, and what was under the television was a DVD player. I closed the door behind myself, turned on the light, igniting the lamp on the ceiling. I sat my luggage down on the floor, and I picked up the DVD case, turning it to the front side to find out what kind of disc remained inside, so it all made sense. The box art was a picture of SpongeBob in a dark room, and seemed to have bloodshot, fire red eyes with empty irises. There was no title on the DVD cartridge, and there was just plain, generic darkness on the back side. Yes, that’s the DVD itself. In curiosity, I opened the cartridge, popped out the disc, and I opened up the DVD player, then slid the disc inside. I pressed the open button again, closing the DVD player. I turned the television on, and I switched to HDMI3, and there I was. A selection screen, with a poorly drawn artwork format of SpongeBob and Patrick on a crumpled, wrinkly white background, similar to how one person crumples up a piece of paper and opening it back up again. There was of course, music in the background. And what was I even LISTENING to? What played in the background sounded like to me, in my perspective, a faint, distorted music box version of the intro theme of the television show, SpongeBob SquarePants itself. And every 5 seconds of the music box, there was a loud, ambient, drilling bang in the background, as well as a sob of agony. The options below the background were Play, Meet the Staff, Behind the Scenes, and More. Before I started up the episode, I went into More. When I went into More, there was just a few animatic clips, and they looked somewhat like deleted scenes I’ve never seen before. There were labels below the thumbnails of the clips. Each and every one of them read “Test”, and they were the names for every last one of them. I backed out, then I would play the episode. No, I cannot give you a copy of the DVD, because I don't want ourselves to get handed to Viacom, because you know how they are when it comes to these kinds of things. But, what I can do, is that I will give you a summary about what happens in the episode itself. I scratched my head in confusion when I saw what appeared just a plain black screen. And for some reason, I wanted to know what went wrong with the television. Before I could get up and try to fix the television, the screen would flicker, and it takes the view to a test card pattern with bright colors with blocks of black, monochrome, silver, and white below them. There was audio in the background, and the first noise I heard was an ear-drilling sine-wave in the background. Above the top of the vertical colors read “Please wait, this might take a few moments” on-screen in a digital font. The test card took 25 seconds to stop, and it took me to yet another black screen for a few more seconds, and it showed the intro. “Are you ready kids?” The pirate painting asked the only audience, being me, and only me, because I’m the one watching this trauma-inducing episode. The kids in the background wouldn’t be heard. The pirate painting then said “I can’t hear you,” and the next thing I knew is that I heard a small child whimper through sobs, “Leave me alone!” in the background. The intro then started up, with the camera panning downward to the pineapple house of SpongeBob SquarePants, revealing the sponge himself, without underwear. He notices that he wasn’t wearing pants, until the hand gives him his pants, making SpongeBob smile, and put his hands around his hips. Seemed normal enough, so I just kept watching the cartoon, and I’ve already sunken into the bed. As soon as the intro ended, things seemed to not be the same. SpongeBob popped up from the screen, and instead of playing his nose like a flute, he just stared deeply into the camera without emotion, then the screen fades to the episode title card. The background was dimly lit, and on-screen read the episode title, “Dumped”. The episode title music was...dead silence. Black noise. Nothing to be heard. Once the title card faded away into bubbles, the episode began with SpongeBob playing a game of tag with his cat, Gary the Snail. The two play together, and right after the first few seconds, that’s when SpongeBob’s best friend, Patrick Star, proceeds to jump into the middle of SpongeBob’s game of tag with his pet. Patrick asked SpongeBob if he could join in, and that was when SpongeBob had agreed to the offer. Things seemed normal temporarily, but as soon as Gary continuously spent more time with Patrick and as the episode gradually went on. The episode isn’t what I was expecting it to be. SpongeBob had not tried to get new pets. Instead, he had just sat outside his home against the front door, letting out a quiet, unhappy sigh as he slumped down. To his left, he watched Patrick play with Gary without him. “He’ll get it eventually…” SpongeBob snapped angrily, as he watched the duo with an unnerving glare on his face. The screen transitioned through bubbles, snapping into the next scene. It shows SpongeBob, standing outside of Patrick’s rock, before going up to it and lifting it open without even bothering to knock first. There, under the rock, would be Patrick, having the sleepover with SpongeBob’s pet without his buddy. It was just CRUEL. I was in complete and utter disappointment when I saw this part of the episode. SpongeBob looked right down at Patrick, before proceeding to jump down in front of his friend. SpongeBob, now with a displeased look on his face, asked Patrick if he was having fun with Gary excluding him. SpongeBob also let Patrick know that Gary is HIS pet, not Patrick’s. Patrick, now chuckling nervously, would tell SpongeBob that he was going to get out of his rock and ask him anyways. SpongeBob, now in disbelief, asks Patrick why he hadn’t done that 3 hours ago. I grew more and more confused about why SpongeBob was not acting like himself. He grew angrier, and angrier, but he still spoke in his usual voice. “Patrick Star…the way you make me lose my patience is becoming quite the talent of yours…give me…my snail…right now…” SpongeBob snapped angrily at his defiant friend, as he stomped his foot on the sand, now becoming more and more furious with Patrick. Patrick became more defiant, and tells SpongeBob that he wasn’t giving Gary back to him. After he did, he continued to play with Gary, and ignored his friend. Which only made the scene worse, and I swear, I could hear SpongeBob growling in fury. I jumped in fear as I heard SpongeBob yell out Patrick’s name at the top of his lungs, at full volume. This had gotten Patrick’s attention, as he too, had jumped. He still wouldn’t give Gary back, but he was starting to become scared of his friend. He asked if SpongeBob was okay, while shivering repeatedly. SpongeBob was starting to twitch and shake violently in anger in a very disturbing way, while he just gave Patrick a deadly, menacing glare on his face. Patrick, who said nothing else during this part, got up from the sand floor, and he started to back up into a wall, and all the while, SpongeBob was slowly approaching him with balled fists. He lunged out at Patrick, and he began to beat him down with no mercy. Using his fists, and his shoes to the starfish’s body, followed by the sound of Patrick’s weeps and howls in pain. This had me from confused to flat-out terrified, as I had never seen SpongeBob THIS out of character, and I know for a fact that I’ve already seen A Pal for Gary, but the SpongeBob in THIS episode was nothing like this one. The camera showed a close-up to Patrick’s face, now having a few cracked teeth, a black eye, a busted bottom lip, and what appeared to be a red liquid. From what I assume to be blood, dripping down the right corner of his mouth. In his eyes, the reflection of what Patrick saw, was a very angry SpongeBob, now with incorrectly colored irises, and his eyes were not light blue. They were what they used to be; they had now changed from light blue to crimson red. “No…” Patrick whimpered. “NO! S-STAY AWAY FROM ME!” He sobbed. SpongeBob just kept approaching his brain-dead friend, still with that furious expression on his face. He picked up Patrick with both hands, by the neck, while growling in an exasperated manner. The sound of his heavy breathing was heard through the speakers of the television screen, and he was moments away from doing something else. “What kind of friend ARE YOU anyways?” SpongeBob began. “First, you ask to join my game of tag, then you steal my snail!?” SpongeBob now began to yell, but he still had the same voice actor who voices him in the show itself. “Do you clean his litter box? Do you worry about buying him food? Do you discipline him for the wrongs he does? No, you DON’T, Patrick! You cannot take any form of responsibility whatsoever, and even worse, you still cannot take care of yourself! At all, and every day, the torture you bring to me just never ends!” SpongeBob snapped at Patrick, with a cold 78-word phrase. Patrick, still laying on his back against the wall, was still in tears, and he sobbed in a violent manner. “T-Then…I-I don’t think w-we can be f-friends anymore!” Patrick screamed out at SpongeBob, as he had turned miserable as miserable can ever possibly be. The two looked at each other, and for some odd reason, Gary was watching this whole time. This episode was getting odder and odder by the minute. With SpongeBob out of character, and Patrick being a miserable punching bag, (though, he had deserved it in later seasons.) making it a very disturbing alternate episode. As soon as Patrick told SpongeBob that he didn’t want to be friends with him any longer, the screen now cuts back to SpongeBob’s face, and what was heard is a loud snarl, presumably coming from him. The screen zoomed out, and what appeared in his right hand…was a hammer. He lunged out at the screen, striking at the camera, now in a first person point of view of Patrick Star. The screen immediately vanished to darkness, before reappearing into the interior of SpongeBob’s pineapple house. The camera faced left, and then faced right, and inside of the area, appeared to be the inside of SpongeBob’s bedroom. Everything was now completely CGI-animated. The room was extremely darkened, and it lacked peacefulness. The camera would look downwards, and it seems to have Patrick strapped down with three belts on a thin, steel square table. The camera now faced the door to SpongeBob’s bedroom, and I swear, I could hear the sound of the squeaking of SpongeBob’s footsteps starting off as quiet, before getting louder, and louder, and louder. I was shivering in fear, now backing away from the television. I had wrapped myself up in a blanket, and to make matters worse, I was holding a pillow against my chest when I heard the door to SpongeBob’s bedroom slowly creak open. There, in the doorway, was SpongeBob SquarePants. He too, was animated completely in CGI. His expression was the usual calm demeanor he’s always been putting on. But, something was a bit wrong with him. SpongeBob’s holes were dripping a strange orange liquid, as well as a black sludge constantly dripping down his mouth. He for some outlandish reason, had a doctor’s outfit on instead of the same old brown shorts that he usually wears. To be a little more specific, he didn’t have a doctor’s mask on. What he did have on for extras is that he was wearing transparent, light blue doctor’s gloves, and a stethoscope around his neck. No, he did not seem angrier in this part of the episode. His irises were completely back to normal, followed by the usual smile SpongeBob has on in many, many episodes. This, in fact, made it even creepier. “Hello, Patrick!” He chimed, as he approaches Patrick, with a box of tools used for autopsies and surgeries alike. He then puts it on a table next to the steel surgery table, opens it up, revealing the tools. Inside of the toolbox, was a scalpel, a pair of platinum scissors, a retractor, a pair of forceps, tweezers, a saw, clamps, a few needles, a bone chisel, such, and such. “Gee, you sure look scared, buddy! Don’t worry, this won’t hurt a bit!” He chirped, as he grabbed the first thing he sees used for cutting the torso open. The scalpel. The camera panned downwards, as it had showed SpongeBob’s left arm slicing from Patrick’s chest, to the bottom of his stomach. And as SpongeBob cut into the sea star’s flesh, the sound of the screaming in pain was heard from the poor starfish. After SpongeBob finished cutting Patrick open, a few sound clips of Patrick sobbing was heard. The sponge then pulled out a pair of clamps, grabbed onto the handles, and stuck it inside of the stomach, and he pulls it open. This made Patrick scream and cry even louder, now revealing Patrick’s pulsating anatomy. “Stop screaming, it can’t hurt THAT badly!” SpongeBob chirped in a positive manner, still performing the surgery on Patrick, while the poor starfish was still screaming and crying, howling and weeping, bawling and yelling. All at once, to form one horrible scream of agony. SpongeBob proceeded to pull out the platinum scissors, then he lined it up between Patrick’s large intestine, and small intestine. Once he did, with a firm snip, a red CGI liquid now sprayed out of the tubes of the two organs. SpongeBob didn’t feel guilty for what he had just done. He didn’t say that he was sorry, nor did he worry about the life of Patrick. Instead, he just slowly bears a menacing tooth-filled smile, with hundreds, thousands…no. More than that. He had millions of elongated teeth. The only lines that Patrick had, which weren’t really lines, were just his shrieks and sobs of agony. SpongeBob continued the surgery, as he used the scalpel to cut deeper into the depths of his used-to-be friend’s flesh. “Struggling doesn’t do you any good, Patrick! C’mon, just take it!” SpongeBob said, in his still joyful manner, still performing that sickening surgery. He sliced Patrick’s stomach open, and he used the clamps to pull it out with a powerful force. Yet, another scream of agony from Patrick was heard, and this time, the audio wasn’t on the same volume. It was much louder than I thought it was. It was only one of the same screams Patrick had, but this was slightly louder, and this scream had 3 more decibels, but the way the sound of the scream had played out remained the same like all of the others. As the scene went on, I began to lose sanity. Regardless, it automatically made me clasp my hands over my head in despair as I kept watching this dreadful episode. SpongeBob kept tearing Patrick’s body apart, now cutting off Patrick’s left arm, and his right leg, and as the nightmare went on, and on, SpongeBob was letting out his usual laugh, and it wasn’t psychotic. It was the same flat-out SpongeBob laughter. He kept laughing on, and on, and on, he couldn’t stop, he didn’t stop. The screen continued to jump and shift repeatedly while the torture for both me and Patrick continued on. SpongeBob cuts off Patrick’s last two limbs, and when he grabs the first two that he had cut off, he faced the camera, opened his mouth up wide, and he placed them all in his mouth at once,and he began CHEWING them. He just stared at the screen while he chewed all four of Patrick’s limbs, with that black sludge still dripping down from his mouth, mixed with the CGI blood to form a disgusting mush. Once he finished, he swallowed it all, and I heard it. A hard swallow, coming from the sea sponge. The camera would cut out of the first-person view of Patrick Star, with SpongeBob still standing in front of him. Visible tears were streaming down Patrick’s eyes. He couldn’t handle anymore pain and torture that SpongeBob was giving him. “Alright, Patrick! Looks like it’s time to conclude this!” SpongeBob said with a smile, as he pulls out an axe. Once he did, he would slowly approach Patrick, which took about a minute and 30 seconds or so for him to make his way over to his restrained friend was. When he finally got there, he held the axe back…and with a swift swing, he slashed Patrick’s head clean off of his torso, making it fly upwards to the ceiling, then it ricochets around the room. The camera, for a moment, cuts to Patrick’s decapitated head. It was lying on the floor, with Patrick’s tongue hanging out of his mouth, and his eyes still open. The camera cuts back into shot with SpongeBob, with his back-turned. He slowly turned around, and then he faced the screen. And then…I…I heard something. And it was coming from him. “Your turn…” He whispered. Upon whispering, the background color was now brightened up with a dark crimson color, before the screen vanished to a black void of nothing. Approximately 8 seconds later, it shows a few clips of a car crashing into a brick wall, a toy plane landing on the grass, a small child choking on the contents of some milk in a glass cup, a man getting blasted with a cannonball in slow motion, and someone shooting a chicken with a shotgun. And what was heard in the background was no audio for the clips themselves, but except for the sound of a newborn baby crying. The screen then vanished once more, and something else faded on-screen. It was Patrick’s head, in the same CGI style, hanging off of a hook with the tip being impaled through his mouth. A few words in chiller red text would appear on the bottom-center of the television below Patrick’s decapitated, lifeless hanging head. It read: “The fun has just begun, overseer. Don’t get yourself too comfortable.” And then, the picture and the text vanished off of the screen. One last scene was shown. It was the same picture on the front side of the DVD case, of SpongeBob in the same dark room, with no mouth, bloodshot eyes, and standing perfectly still. Before the scene ended, SpongeBob blinked his eyes, startling me slightly. Once that thing I wouldn’t want to call SpongeBob blinked its eyes, the screen vanished to darkness, before returning to main selection screen. I…I remained speechless. I said nothing. No words to ever enter my brain, and I felt worse when I remembered the entire episode itself. I slowly got up from the bed, turned off the television, and I ejected the disc. Upon doing so, I put it back into the cartridge where it came from. When I closed it, I would pull out a sticky note from my jacket’s pouch, then I pulled a sticky note off. I pulled out my pen, and I wrote a note to the next person who ever stays in Room C1. “To anyone who is staying in this room who is now reading this note, do NOT insert this disc into the DVD player. If you are still curious and if you want to know what is contained inside of the disc itself, come and find me, and I’ll give you a good summary about what I saw.” –Daniel Adams I put the cartridge back, and I placed it next to the television. Just so the next person who ever comes across this room finds this DVD and my note that I placed on it, knows to not play the disc. In order to wrap this up, I have to say that it’s been good talking to you. I hope you remember what I said, and please…I hope you believe me, because this episode is real. If you ever happen to find a decent, heavenly looking inn, you’ll know where this DVD came from. And who knows what might happen to this DVD? Who will be the next person to watch it? And…it most likely won’t be you. Category:SpongeBob